I’m so busy all the time…..
I’m sorry I can’t help you, I’m so busy…..
I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to do……
I never have time to see anyone, or do anything, because I am so busy………
I’m glad SOMEONE has time to get it all done, I never do because I’m so busy……
Can I just share something with you???
EVERYONE is busy!!!! Should I say it again? EVERYONE is busy and they don’t need to hear how busy YOU are.
It’s an addiction. You may not believe it, but it is.
We use “busy” as an excuse for everything we can’t do, forget to do, don’t want to do, or wish we could do.
And…..when you use this crutch in a conversation, without intending to you are communicating to the other person that it’s all about you and that YOU are in fact more busy than they are or that they must not be as busy as you or they wouldn’t have time to do all the things they are doing.
According to Wikipedia, the definition of addiction is:
“…the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse dependency consequences,or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors.”
It goes on to say that this includes compulsions:
“Sometimes the compulsion is not to “do” something but to avoid or “do nothing” e.g. procrastination (compulsive task avoidance).”
The first step in a twelve step group is to “admit” that there is an issue. The steps also insist that you continue to engage in personal inventory. So, that’s what I’m asking you to do for the benefit of everyone in your circle and to get you off the merry go round!
1. Listen to yourself and become aware of just how often you use a statement that includes “I’m busy”.
2. If you find that you are using it frequently as an excuse, then……
3. First admit you have a problem.
4. Next, believe that you are strong enough to stop the cycle and eliminate those two words from your vernacular.
5. Continue to take personal inventory and adjust when you fall back into the old pattern.
When confronted with a situation where you would typically use your “busy” excuse, just try very hard to stick to the facts and respond with a clear answer to the situation that doesn’t use the “b” word! It’s about accountability and not taking the easy way out. It takes a little more effort when you don’t automatically default to the “busy” crutch, but it’s a real response and not a compulsion to avoiding the real reasons you aren’t getting things done. There are lots of alternative statements, be kind and factual, try these:
“I would love to, but I have something on the calendar at that time.”
“You know what, I thought I had prioritized appropriately, but it turns out I didn’t and now I’m going to make every effort to get it done.” (ownership!!)
“I don’t really think this is a fit for me.” (this is TOTALLY acceptable!)
“Unfortunately, I have other priorities right now that require my time. Please circle back again. Circumstances do change!”
“That is something I would really love to do, I have to stop and take the time to put it in my schedule.”
You get the drift!
Of course you really ARE busy, but no one really wants to hear about it because so are they and frankly, you don’t really want to hear how busy everyone else is when you run into someone who has the same addiction!
Breathe deeply, let it go and just respond honestly and simply, without the “busy” crutch. It’s the best thing for everyone! And, if all else fails, you COULD start a support group, because I can assure you that you are NOT alone is this!!! 🙂